My heart is breaking and tears are flowing as I read this, over my yummy Mexican brunch in Austin. I wish I could be there caring for you but it is a solitary fight and I think you are the best prepared person I know to be able to handle it. I'm not saying "you've got this", but I know some of the stuff you've been through, and I marvel at how you are handling it. I'm sorry to have been one of the ones who said oh, just take the drugs, when really I know nothing about it. Love you, Stella and I'll be home tomorrow evening.
Navigating the whole "is this is a good pill or a bad pill?" dilemma is heartbreaking. You are wrestling with such themes here, trust in science, trust in medicine, trust in our fellow people that administer/diagnose and the upshot of all this is..... maddening. But this is our world, heartless and without morality when you look it right in the face as you are doing here.
Fortunately, you know how to take detours. As readers, riding shotgun on this is a rare glimpse into situations that rarely get held up to the light.
Hi there Stella. Your openness and vulnerability is certainly your superpower. We are in some pain management issues this week and your shared journey absolutely is helpful. Thank you. ❤️
Your writing is so brave, thank you for sharing your journey and bringing openness to something that touches so many families. This helped my family https://recoverydharma.org/
OOoosh. Having an abdomen that has seen a few scalpels and visited moments when "do I or don't I" take pain meds...this piece resonated deeply. The medical system thinks of people as easy or not easy and does their damnedest to force us into short-term, limited projects rather than encompassing the complicated experiences we may be having. The lack of trauma-informed care and consideration for what a patient is bringing with them to an already traumatic medical event is completely devoid of reasoned perspective. Outcomes would improve and there would be a reduction in the additional trauma baggage people carry after surgery if the medical industry upgraded their intake forms and empathetic engagement. This part... "Where do you think all good art comes from? You think George Jones was undisturbed? Or that Frida Kahlo was unpained? She wouldn’t have been half the artist she was if she’d held back from expressing her hardship.” May you heal well new unmet friend.
Thank you, eMMe. I appreciate your response and the very valid, important points you’re making here. I agree- medical “care” is almost always completely impersonal, and rarely shows any regard at all for the fact that we are more than just physical forms. Our minds, our emotions, the whole experience of how we’re treated…these things are just completely missed. We are left alone with that part of the process.
My heart feels so deeply for and reaches out to you in the agony of all you have faced, Stella. Thank you for your insights from all of it, and for the compassion of your writing which is so connecting and healing for others, too. May your own healing continue and may your pain ease, with the support of self-compassion which I'm so glad you have begun to give yourself permission to allow to flow.
Thank you for sharing your complex and difficult story. Fucking cancer. I'm so glad you found E to help guide you through the darkness. Your collage is powerful, like you. You got this. And if you ever need to chat privately, I too had a massive abdominal cancer surgery — two in fact. My community and support system were and still are the best Rx. I'm rooting for you Stella. 🙌🏻🔥
Thank you for sharing all of the real underbelly of your experience. However life-saving the medical attention can be in some situations, the callousness of post-operative/hostpital visit medical staff interactions is very painful and disorienting, especially if you need to rely on them for continued guidance & care. ❤️ So glad you have the real support of family, friends and a caring herbalist & therapist! ✨️
It seems like a game of chance way too often as to whether someone will be treated compassionately or not by medical professionals after a hospital stay. I've experienced a couple of terrible situations I won't describe because thus is not the space for it, but it does seem rather prevalent. Loved the long swear word you applied to the Percocet. ❤️.
Thank you for your thoughtful response. It’s true- we need to put the care back in healthcare. We don’t take good care of each other in this country, by and large.
My heart is breaking and tears are flowing as I read this, over my yummy Mexican brunch in Austin. I wish I could be there caring for you but it is a solitary fight and I think you are the best prepared person I know to be able to handle it. I'm not saying "you've got this", but I know some of the stuff you've been through, and I marvel at how you are handling it. I'm sorry to have been one of the ones who said oh, just take the drugs, when really I know nothing about it. Love you, Stella and I'll be home tomorrow evening.
You did everything right, supportive friend. You wanted me not to suffer. ♥️ I love you.
Not yet perhaps but you will. You have already overcome so much and it seems you are beginning to trust yourself to do the right thing.
Thank you ♥️
Navigating the whole "is this is a good pill or a bad pill?" dilemma is heartbreaking. You are wrestling with such themes here, trust in science, trust in medicine, trust in our fellow people that administer/diagnose and the upshot of all this is..... maddening. But this is our world, heartless and without morality when you look it right in the face as you are doing here.
Fortunately, you know how to take detours. As readers, riding shotgun on this is a rare glimpse into situations that rarely get held up to the light.
Hang in there.
Let there be light.
Hi there Stella. Your openness and vulnerability is certainly your superpower. We are in some pain management issues this week and your shared journey absolutely is helpful. Thank you. ❤️
Oh dear, I hope you find your way through without too much trouble. ♥️
Your writing is so brave, thank you for sharing your journey and bringing openness to something that touches so many families. This helped my family https://recoverydharma.org/
Hello Amy! Thanks for reading ♥️. And I’m glad you shared this resource!! Oxox
OOoosh. Having an abdomen that has seen a few scalpels and visited moments when "do I or don't I" take pain meds...this piece resonated deeply. The medical system thinks of people as easy or not easy and does their damnedest to force us into short-term, limited projects rather than encompassing the complicated experiences we may be having. The lack of trauma-informed care and consideration for what a patient is bringing with them to an already traumatic medical event is completely devoid of reasoned perspective. Outcomes would improve and there would be a reduction in the additional trauma baggage people carry after surgery if the medical industry upgraded their intake forms and empathetic engagement. This part... "Where do you think all good art comes from? You think George Jones was undisturbed? Or that Frida Kahlo was unpained? She wouldn’t have been half the artist she was if she’d held back from expressing her hardship.” May you heal well new unmet friend.
Thank you, eMMe. I appreciate your response and the very valid, important points you’re making here. I agree- medical “care” is almost always completely impersonal, and rarely shows any regard at all for the fact that we are more than just physical forms. Our minds, our emotions, the whole experience of how we’re treated…these things are just completely missed. We are left alone with that part of the process.
Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts.
As always, thanks for sharing your experiences so openly and courageously, Stella. Thinking of you. Journey on… 💖
And thank you so very much for recommending Straw Into Gold!
Thanks, James!
My heart feels so deeply for and reaches out to you in the agony of all you have faced, Stella. Thank you for your insights from all of it, and for the compassion of your writing which is so connecting and healing for others, too. May your own healing continue and may your pain ease, with the support of self-compassion which I'm so glad you have begun to give yourself permission to allow to flow.
Thank you for this kind message, and for reading and becoming a paid subscriber ♥️ I appreciate your support so much.
Thank you for sharing your complex and difficult story. Fucking cancer. I'm so glad you found E to help guide you through the darkness. Your collage is powerful, like you. You got this. And if you ever need to chat privately, I too had a massive abdominal cancer surgery — two in fact. My community and support system were and still are the best Rx. I'm rooting for you Stella. 🙌🏻🔥
Thank you, Maureen. I am sure you know how it is, with your history of those surgeries. I appreciate you reading and offering your wisdom.
♥️
Stella,
Thank you for sharing all of the real underbelly of your experience. However life-saving the medical attention can be in some situations, the callousness of post-operative/hostpital visit medical staff interactions is very painful and disorienting, especially if you need to rely on them for continued guidance & care. ❤️ So glad you have the real support of family, friends and a caring herbalist & therapist! ✨️
It seems like a game of chance way too often as to whether someone will be treated compassionately or not by medical professionals after a hospital stay. I've experienced a couple of terrible situations I won't describe because thus is not the space for it, but it does seem rather prevalent. Loved the long swear word you applied to the Percocet. ❤️.
Hi,
Thank you for your thoughtful response. It’s true- we need to put the care back in healthcare. We don’t take good care of each other in this country, by and large.
Take good care,
♥️ Stella
🎶 Nothing like the blues to bring healing to the soul!
This is one of my all-time favorite messages I’ve ever received. Thank you J.R. ♥️