I will be thinking about you tomorrow. That prior authorization mess is so awful. I've been there several times trying to get care for my daughter, and I can't even imagine how much worse it is when you are the one who is supposed to be getting surgery and when you have so much other support organized. It's not our job do to this and yet somehow between all the different parties we are the only one who can get them all to understand that it requires coordination. You are as always a beautiful writer and a beautiful person, and I'm glad the day is finally here even though you did not prepare as many frozen meals as you thought you'd need.
I'm so sorry for all you've had to navigate. I had some similar experiences with my father's health insurance after he died, and it is both overwhelming and outrageous to be dealing with incompetence and indifference when you are vulnerable. You are amazing! To add to your list: little frogs leaping out of bushes when I water the garden, and my horse nickering for treats.
I had the sense of someone dodging bullets in front of a firing squad. So sentenced for having not used the crosswalk or stepping down from the curb before the “WALK” signal lit up.
Stella my prayers and thoughts and best destiny wishes are for you and your friends and family and your medical care team. Surrounding you all in light 🦋🩵
Thanks for sharing this, Stella! It’s a rollercoaster of a read, but truly inspiring. As you asked, here, in no particular order(!), are some things I’m grateful for: fresh flowers (especially the vase of daffodils currently on the coffee table I made from driftwood years ago); fresh air; fresh coffee; living so close to the sea; my wife and kids; buckwheat pancakes; the novella Bonjour Tristesse by Françoise Sagan; my pencils, paints, sketchbooks, and sewing machine; poetry; memories of Madrid and the south of France - where I whiled away every summer as a kid; my iPad; art galleries; the chance to dance around my kitchen/lounge; Ghost Dances by the choreographer Christopher Bruce (https://youtu.be/fgh13vsc1jU?feature=shared); sunrises. Sending you an ocean of healing/love! 🕊️💙
What a horrific story! You are and incredible woman!! (And an incredible writer!)
To us non-Americans, the American 'health-system' is utterly unbelievable.
"I feel for the folks that don’t have my same ability to self-advocate, who, in their hour of need, get bulldozed by this terribly broken system. I imagine people weak and nauseated on chemo, or suffering cognitive impairment — how would they ever find a way through this maze?"
Indeed! How can such a terribly broken system still keep going, still keep getting paid, sucking every last hard earned cent out of sick people...
The hospital should be paying you!!!
I'll be thinking of you tomorrow, and beyond, wishing you all the love and care you deserve, and a gentle journey to health. 💗
I will be thinking about you tomorrow. That prior authorization mess is so awful. I've been there several times trying to get care for my daughter, and I can't even imagine how much worse it is when you are the one who is supposed to be getting surgery and when you have so much other support organized. It's not our job do to this and yet somehow between all the different parties we are the only one who can get them all to understand that it requires coordination. You are as always a beautiful writer and a beautiful person, and I'm glad the day is finally here even though you did not prepare as many frozen meals as you thought you'd need.
Sunsets.
The way the lights creeps through the trees in the forest.
Alpenglow as it kisses the tips of green leaves and bare branches alike.
Dog yawns.
The smell of the forest floor and how it sounds like a thick carpet.
Snow cresting and blowing from mountain peaks.
Snuggles from my growing child.
The way kitties squint to say I love you.
I love you. See you on the other side of this, but know that I’m holding you in my heart as we venture forward. You are amazing.
Ohhhhh, it is there. Ok, I’ll screen shot this right now, and send it to the medical board.”
that 23rd person that God had working that day.
. . .oh, and muddy, spring paths.
I'm so sorry for all you've had to navigate. I had some similar experiences with my father's health insurance after he died, and it is both overwhelming and outrageous to be dealing with incompetence and indifference when you are vulnerable. You are amazing! To add to your list: little frogs leaping out of bushes when I water the garden, and my horse nickering for treats.
I had the sense of someone dodging bullets in front of a firing squad. So sentenced for having not used the crosswalk or stepping down from the curb before the “WALK” signal lit up.
Wishing you all the best and a speedy recovery.
Stella my prayers and thoughts and best destiny wishes are for you and your friends and family and your medical care team. Surrounding you all in light 🦋🩵
Other writers.
My goodness, I am so bowled over by this piece and your strength. I wish you softness and success from this point on.
I would love to send a gift card or let you dictate your next post to me while you rest your sweet, baby T-Rex arms.
Love you.
“But reality is a horse pill; it can be pretty tough to swallow.” Brilliant! What a mind! Send biggest love and wellness wishes, bigger than Alaska!
Continuing to hold prayers, love and light
XxOo🦋🩵
Thanks for sharing this, Stella! It’s a rollercoaster of a read, but truly inspiring. As you asked, here, in no particular order(!), are some things I’m grateful for: fresh flowers (especially the vase of daffodils currently on the coffee table I made from driftwood years ago); fresh air; fresh coffee; living so close to the sea; my wife and kids; buckwheat pancakes; the novella Bonjour Tristesse by Françoise Sagan; my pencils, paints, sketchbooks, and sewing machine; poetry; memories of Madrid and the south of France - where I whiled away every summer as a kid; my iPad; art galleries; the chance to dance around my kitchen/lounge; Ghost Dances by the choreographer Christopher Bruce (https://youtu.be/fgh13vsc1jU?feature=shared); sunrises. Sending you an ocean of healing/love! 🕊️💙
What a horrific story! You are and incredible woman!! (And an incredible writer!)
To us non-Americans, the American 'health-system' is utterly unbelievable.
"I feel for the folks that don’t have my same ability to self-advocate, who, in their hour of need, get bulldozed by this terribly broken system. I imagine people weak and nauseated on chemo, or suffering cognitive impairment — how would they ever find a way through this maze?"
Indeed! How can such a terribly broken system still keep going, still keep getting paid, sucking every last hard earned cent out of sick people...
The hospital should be paying you!!!
I'll be thinking of you tomorrow, and beyond, wishing you all the love and care you deserve, and a gentle journey to health. 💗
Oh, what a writer you are. I feel your heart.
Ok, for my list:
birds I hear from outside when i stop thinking
my two sons
others like my two sons
people who are becoming friends
love
you